Travel Tips for First Time Yankees

[Rob Stevens]

Permalink Reply by Roger Hammer 3 hours ago

I like May because you'll never see any GERMANS AND/OR YANKEES out there that time of year!! Plus there's hardly any mosquitoes because they're too afraid to come out because of all the no-see-ums and deer flies. Summer sucks because of the sweltering heat, bugs, and lightning storms. And winter sucks because of the possibility of cold fronts (not to mention GERMANS AND/OR YANKEES!) and nothing sucks more than paddling in long pants and a burly jacket.

My favorite paddling pants are slip-on lightweight cotton pajama bottoms, but not the ones with little teddy bears on them. I also ward off the sun with my custom-made Bimini top on my Shearwater, as you can see in the attached photo at East Cape.

The above I, Rob, cut and pasted and hijacked to start a new discussion.

The above response   to something I had posted earlier kicked my poor Yankee brain into gear. In the last 3 years Allison and I have done 4 trips totaling 38 days along the mangrove coast and some back country. Here are a few things I've learned.

1. If you go around the end of December your chances of seeing someone from below the Mason Dixon line are extremely limited. What you will see are dolphins, gators, frogs, sea turtles, raccoons, sharks, fish falling from the sky, roseates. pelicans, kingfishers, and Yankees including the beloved Buckleys.

   What you are unlikely to see are Southerners (see exception below) and pythons.

2. Don't fret about not seeing any southerners especially Floridians. There are some good field guides about Floridians written by Floridians, Carl Hiassen and Tim Dorsey.  Don't be put off by Dorsey's main character, the psychopath Serge. He loves Yankees, especially from the Great Lakes.

3. Going in April is tough. If you have only just taken off your wool long underwear  your brain will cease to function in the sun. Forget being able to read a compass. Be prepared for adventure. Don't try to acclimate yourself in saunas. Two years doing manual labor in the Keys still did not prepare me for summers.

4. Al and I do have had 2 sitings of Floridians in December. The first was a grandfather and grand son at Crooked Creek Chickee. They slept without a tent. Maybe on some sort of Vision Quest, or maybe just  deranged.  The field guides don't explain this behavior. The second siting we don't have photos of so we can't document them. But Al and I are sure we saw Connie and Vivian. But we don't feel right adding this to our life list because we could only verify this by sound. They were completely swaddled in their winter plumage so we couldn't get a visual. It was in the 60's so we were just plain excited to make an unconfirmed siting.

5. I think we need to take up a collection to test Roger's DNA. I fear there may be some Yankee blood in him.  Quote"Summer sucks because of the sweltering heat".  What hooked us on the Glades was a trip in August in a dark green station wagon, no a/c, and an overheating problem. A trip to the Smallwood store and a paddle out to Sandfly Island and we were hooked. And don't worry, there are sandflies at Sandfly Island. You will not be disappointed.

6. I want to find a pair of PJ's with gators on them for Roger and me. 

If you Yankees have any questions I will try to answer them for you.

[Swamp Witch]

Your posts are hilarious!  I can’t stop laughing.  I’ve got a double whammy because I’m half Yankee and half German (my mother was from Germany.  Dad met her over there).  This year I met a lot of Floridians on my trip.  Motorboaters & Park Rangers.  All except 1 motorboater were very nice.  Especially the man who gave me an ice cold Coke, and the group of guys at Camp Lonesome when I showed up after my trip through the Lost Portage.  They invited me to their fire, got me a chair, and handed me a plate of cheesy jambalaya & black beans and rice.  They knew about the EEN site.  Asked me if I was one of those people who go where other people don’t.  They are similar in that they are looking for places to fish where other people don’t normally go.  They had been down the Wood River and went into the Mud Lakes.  You should have seen the boat, completely covered in mangrove leaves & twigs and they had cleaned it off once already.  They had a gigantic pile of firewood, which was just the stuff that had fallen into the boat.  I guess that’s one way to keep the trails open.  I love Carl Hiassen!  Tourist Season is my favorite.  Thanks for mentioning Tim Dorsey.  I had not heard of him.  Can’t wait to start reading his books especially since I'm from the Great Lakes.  PS The Buckleys are from Michigan just like me.

[Rob Stevens]

SWAMP WITCH A WARNING. Tim Dorsey has a very twisted main character. (Read; serial killer) When I got hooked I was working in Milwaukee, never been to Florida. A friend who would not go to see "Titanic" because he did not wish to be entertained by people being killed left a Dorsey for me to read.  The book started with a thug breaking into a hotel room with a couple of Midwesterners in it. Someone shows up in bicycle clothes and captures the thug. He apologizes for this bad introduction to Florida. They ask if he is a cop and he answers "No, historian". Then he marches the thug away and uses a very bizarre way to kill him. What caught me was the main character's love of quirky Florida. Now I'm stuck making lists of the Floridian things he writes of.

   Allison strongly recommends you stick to Hiassen. "Nature Girl" takes place in Everglades City and Dismal Key. Half way between Hiassen and Dorsey would be the police column in the Key West Citizen page 2.

[vivian]

Rob, it took me several minutes to stop laughing, but I can definitely confirm that it was Vivian and Connie you spotted as we stood on Darwin's Place wearing three layers of thermals with the temps NOT in the 60s, but more like 50s. We talked briefly with you and Al which was not easy as our teeth chattered and are jaws were dropped at the sight of you and Allison in (if I remember correctly) shorts and t-shirt. To add insult to injury, you were taking a brief break before crossing Chevelier bay to sweetwater in 25 knot NE winds, which was exactly the reason we stood on Darwin's and were not paddling.

Would also like to add that although it was generous of the guys to share their fire with Swampwitch, it was an ILLEGAL fire as they are not allowed on backcountry sites.

[Swamp Witch]

Since you’ve admitted it, I guess I can say that I also like the mystery genre.  I’ve read some pretty dark books including fiction and non-fiction about serial killers.  Your description sounds intriguing.  I've read Nature Girl.  I liked it.

I know that fires are not permitted at ground sites, but the motorboaters I’ve encountered interpret it as “no ground fires” which to them means if the fire is not in contact with the ground then it’s legal.  These guys had a giant metal pan that they used.  Voila!  Fire isn’t touching the ground.  I told them of the Park Ranger encounter at Canepatch and that it’s no fires period elevated or otherwise.  They kept on burning.  Does anyone have any recommendations on how to handle a situation like this?  In general, I’m a pretty passive person (except for the occasional rant, sorry Yakmaster!) and not interested in getting into an argument especially when it’s 5 on 1.  I feel that telling them that the fire was not allowed was all I was obligated to do.  The fire was not out of control and all traces were gone when they left the next morning.  However, they did leave it unattended to go shark fishing, but I kept an eye on it while they were gone.  What would you all do or have you all done in a similar situation?

[vivian]

The rules that I have always followed regarding fires:

Fires

Fires are not permitted at ground sites or

chickees. Fires are only allowed at sites

designated as “Beach.” Build fires below the

highest tide line. Use only dead and downed

wood. No cutting of standing dead trees.

Remove all traces of fires before leaving site.

Stove/Cooking

With the exception of fires on “Beach” sites

(see above), all cooking, heating, etc. must be

done with devices that will not produce any ash

or a spark or ember that is capable of igniting

vegetation. Wood, charcoal, or coal-fueled

I personally do not want to have any confrontations with these guys in the backcountry either. Like you, I only make a comment and then leave it alone. You are all alone out there and most of these guys pack and add alcohol to the mix and it is not worth the bad experience. For the most part, the people I meet out there are very nice.  It is law enforcements job to visit these sites especially Lonesome, Willy Willy, Lostmans and Canepatch on a regular basis. Unfortunately, it rarely happens.  The people at the permit desk don't address this either when issuing permits to these sites.  They also need to make it very clear that tents cannot be huge cabin tents and that they will be sharing with others.

[Swamp Hunter]

Im half German and half Floridian

Swamp Witch said:

  I’m half Yankee and half German